Saturday, July 17, 2010

Love & Romance According To Every Women's Magazines.

Every issue of every woman’s magazine has an expansive new list of love-making secrets. How is that possible? Do women’s magazine editors reshape their genitals every 30 days? Are there really so many fucking discoveries being made that you can tell us 50 new stunts to perform on one each month?

I always thought I had the qualities to be a great women’s magazine editor. I’m constantly listing things your vaginas should do. I’m morally reprehensible and judgmental. Plus check out this sex advice: There’s only one g-spot and it moves from woman to woman. It’s invisible to science and the only thing you can be sure of is that it’s never in the woman you’re digging around in.

Romance is a source of mystery for most men. You try to open the door for a woman and she tells you she’s not coming into the men’s room. You spell her name in rose petals and she spells your name on a restraining order. Romance is confusing!

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